Away from inner domination- how to befriend your discomfort and pain?

Every sensation that seems to nag and haunt you has an offering for you.

The secret is to not suppress it nor to be terrified of it.

Funny enough, every discomfort tries to pull you away from being a victim and into your own presence and sense of personal power.

Let me stretch out this subject for a moment.

Our society is teaching us to constantly take part in a power game. One where being “above”, dominating, staying untouched, and controlling is the position that needs to be strived for.

It is reflected in the way we deal with one another, the way our career paths are paved, the way we relate to issues politically and the way we relate and deal with our own selves.

As a result there always has to be an underdog. There always has to be someone weaker to win over.

The obsession to be “on top”, creates a strong fear in us convincing us to never feel anything that might give us or someone else the idea that we are weak or out of control.

It makes us act out of a constant threat to lose this position and image. It fosters in us a need to fight with everything that is unknown.

It all made us cut off a big chunk of who we are. Distance ourselves from our sensations. Mistrust our emotions. And try to find a better solution to our human body.

This need to dominate and at the same time feeling threatened and incapable inside, was the state from which others have behaved in a way that has caused us suffering and at times even traumatized us. It is sadly also the state in which today we may create complications in our relationships.

The good news is, is that we are never really able to stay in that hierarchical structure.

Our natural need is to be well. To be who we are. To evolve. To be free to express. And to be in connection with others and the livelihood of the world.

Each time we fall into this structure and way of being, our body sends us a message of discomfort pr pain. It simply wants us to step away from that oppressive state we may have been routinely stuck in with in ourselves.

It tries to pull our attention away from the outer need to control and to free ourselves.

It asks us to do so by re-connecting to all those neglected or oppressed parts of ourselves.

If we ignore that discomfort, afraid of what it may be, we actually choose to give our power away. We unknowingly (even if we pretend it does not bother us and we are stronger than that…) become more and more terrified inside. We need to oppress ourselves more and more and mistakenly commit to choices that are harmful to us.

We then contribute to a state of sickness and weakness to come.

When we befriend that discomfort, we can shift everything.

It means to agree to meet, feel and acknowledge it. Just by doing so, we automatically connect to our true self, to our personal power and the trust in ourselves to live through it.

We then can enter a state where things shift and resolve quickly. A state that our oppressive mind cannot believe can exist. This is why you may think of it as a leap of faith.

But in actuality is a choice to reconnect. No belief is needed.

The belief is needed just because we have been cut away from that state and ability for years, that we forgot it is there.

Lets try:

Start to pay attention to your body and to any discomfort you may be feeling.

Remember that it does not want to hurt you but rather to free you. It has no other way of pulling your attention and as such it nags you.

Try to be aware of what you are doing as a response to that discomfort. For example feel how and where you are creating efforts and tensions that seem to help you to overcome this discomfort.

For a moment just notice it, and don’t change this effort. Take a moment to feel what is it that you are aiming to achieve through this effort: what is the need, intention and wish that you hold in and with this effort?

Often times this effort was created out of a sense of fear and helplessness. It was your way to make sure you will manage not to break or not to give up on yourself, as you could not change the situation you were in. The situation that was creating the discomfort. You had to oppress yourself to manage to survive it.

This effort holds in it the while story, the memory. This effort keeps you trapped in the memory of who you were and not who you are.

Before you let go of that effort, you have to make a choice.

Choose if you are able and want to meet and take care of what may be limiting and trapping you with care and connection. If you are ready to feel for a moment “weak”, or if you would rather not. If you are willing to take the time and have the patience in this moment to be in this discomfort until it can reveal it’s message for you. (Remember it doesn’t have to take a long time, but in your attitude you have to have time.)

If not, think if you are you willing to live with this effort for the rest of your life?

Once you have made the choice (and you do not need to know how you will manage, just knowing that you will), take few deep breaths.

With those breaths, let go of the efforts, frozen movements and twists you are aware of.

Use your breath as a way to send out the message that you are ready to listen.

That you are ready to take care of what is being oppressed and repressed in you.

That you are ready to meet all of yourself and free yourself.

Strat to hum. Use your voice to move more of the stuck energy in you.

The humming will create vibrations that will allow you to let go even deeper.

Keep on breathing and humming.

Let your voice express all the story of that discomfort.

Give it a voice.

When you give it a voice it can relax. It can shift and you can then be free.

Take as much time as you need.

You may need to repeat this a few times until this choice is integrated deeper within yourself and you are able to be truly comfortable in your new inner freedom.

In order to further expand this freedom, try to be attentive in your life when are you trying to be “On -Top”. What are you trying to hide and oppress in yourself? When do you see others as being above you or below you? Can you free them from that position?

What does it take from you to do so?

Yours,

Anna

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash