Fear no more... uncovering the judgment monster

Why does judgment seem to have such a grave power over us?

Sometimes, just the expectation of a possible judgment already stresses us out.

This stress is a stuck old fear—the imprint of an old inability to resist or speak out.

It may be because we grew up with the experience that being loved depended on the praise and success we achieved. Maybe it was because we knew deep down that if we were not approved, we would not be able to survive the situation well.

To better manage, we avoided any friction.

Perhaps we just saw that the courage to resist had painful and harsh responses we wanted to avoid. And maybe we were constantly “fed” with approval and grew into thinking that our worth (our existence) is in the hands of how others see us.

 

Giving attention to the opinions and judgments of others is not wrong by itself. It is part of understanding what is happening around us. It is part of communication and exchange. But if we have lost our sense of self/our worth/ the feeling of being grounded, or if we have had to repress our power to avoid being hurt or were educated, it is “ugly” or dangerous, then judgments and opinions get to have power over us.

Of course, some people attach coldness or a wish to put others down into their judgments. But this is precisely why we need the force of resistance to be active in us while we listen. We need that power available to resist what is attached and hurtful and let into what is essential to be aware of and maybe even benefit from.

  

Take a moment and think: when are you being held back by the fear of judgment?

When does this fear make you cave into yourself, doubt yourself, or maybe even avoid doing the things you love?

What does the fear of a possible judgment provoke in you?

Where does this fear get stuck in your body, and how do you seem to protect yourself from this possible judgment- “attack”?

 

If you capture that experience and reaction, take a moment and be with it.

Be attentive to how you respond to the possible judgment and where the fear is trapped in your body.

Do not change anything. Direct your attention to how and why you do that- how old do you feel in it, and what does this response attempt to block out? How does

While exploring that aspect, connect to your body's frozen/stuck/held-back power and resistance. Feeling it in your limbs, legs, and arms may be most accessible.

Pay attention to how this movement, if holding back, feels and how you do that.

 

Increase the effort of holding back for a moment, preparing to let it go soon, and allowing it to be expressed. It's like rotating a band of a propellor that once you let go, it will fly.

 

Think of a person whose judgment you tend to avoid or fear and feel what comes with the judgment that seems unbearable. Feel the presence of it around you.

 

And now, let go of that restrictive effort. Breathe deeply into the area where the fear was stored, and let it spread in your body while you bring the energy of resistance out into the space, pushing away that you do not want to be hurt by.

Give yourself the time to resist, fight, and push it away. All the accumulated resistance may be available so that it might seem like an overreaction. It is essential to allow that need to resist and push to come out and be released.

Then, take the time to breathe, open up your body, and pay attention to the space around you.

How do you feel within yourself?

How do you now relate to that criticism?

What were you afraid of that was maybe attached to the criticism? And how do you relate to it now?

 

Looking forward to hearing from you and your sense of self in front of possible criticism,

Anna

P.S

On May 10th, 2024, I am offering a workshop to shift that aspect of your life called: “Being Yourself”. For more information contact me.

 

Photo by Molly Blackbird on Unsplash