Being yourself in relationships - releasing the "bugs" out of your connectivity net.

Relationships are everywhere around us.

They are the magical net that connects us to the world and so much to who we are. Through our varied kind of relationships, many aspects of who we are, are brought to the surface. Only through this connective net can they then be expressed.

Relationships bring the best in us as well as the worst;

The best is our unique abilities, our talents, our creativity and our love.

The worst are all the places of “old dead bugs” that got caught in our connectivity net and rot away without us often being aware of them being still there.

It may be all those old wounds and hurtful memories we still carry not always aware that we do. All those old choices we had to make. And all those ways in which we HAD to shape ourselves to better meet the conditions around us.

The best way to recognize and remove them is through revealing them in our body: constant tensions, recurring pains, numbness, stiffness, weakness and so on. These are the places they have nested in and seemed to melt into normality that our mind then can oversee.

Think of all the difficult moments and situations you meet in your various relationships as those old dead bugs that got stuck on your magic web of connection. These are the ones that disturb you from having an easy connection, the ability to read the situation without the heaviness of that disturbance as well as being able to set boundaries and balanced distance or intimacy.

For example: a “dead bug” can be a hidden need to be complemented and afraid of any hint of criticism, which makes you try to always be perfect.

It can be an old fear of betrayal that makes you always suspect and never feel safe.

It can be an unexpressed anger that flows into your relationships in constant irritation.

It can be feeling on the verge of being rejected too often that makes you either invest too much or never dare to come close.

It can be an old guilt or an unconscious promise that keeps you tied to the wrong people or in the wrong way.

It can be a need to control yourself and make sure you never provoke any discomfort for others.

It can be a fear of jealousy that may ask you often than not to reduce yourself.

It can be a constant need to prove your worth and strength that does not allows you to simply be.

And the list can go on.

Connecting with different people is the way you clean your web.

Every connection no matter how it evolves and what is its path, is what allows us to strengthen that web and increase the truth of who we are. Some relationships are there for a short time and some for a long one. Some may enable us to complete and heal what got stuck in our net, and some are there to allow us to stretch our web and strengthen it.

The relationships on all their forms will allow you to be more honest with yourself. To see the qualities you were maybe ignoring and hiding as well as to identify what holds you back and even where you are not as “perfect” as you may want to pretend to be.

All in all this connective net that stretches from within yourself into the world, is what allows you the freedom to be and evolve.

Think of one person in your life and let us clear your net from old bugs.

What is the disturbing moment between you, you stumble upon?

It can be a way you become with them you do not like. It can be a conflict that jumps into your mind. It can be a way that person is with you, you do not like and are unsure how to act.

Give yourself time to sense yourself and discipline your attention to stay away from your mind. Your mind would like to find reasons, stories, explanations that would allow that “bug” to stay in place, even if you would feel “right” and “better than the person”. Your mind is still absolutely blind to those dead hidden bugs as they tend to trick it. If you could train yourself to feel your body, be aware of the way you breathe, your skin and how it is touching the space around you, you will be able to better identify where the “bug” is.

If you could then give yourself the time to sense how exactly this bug “feels”. How you hold it in that specific place in your body, creating that specific sensation or discomfort. Feel how holding that “bug” shapes the way you are. The way the net, the web of connection is stretching into the world.

The net of connectivity should be one, that feels light and expansive around us. It is all around us. And if there are stuck places, ones that are not involved in that light expansion, they are blocked by a “dead bug”.

To release them we need to bring movement, vibration into them again.

It may be a physical movement that you need to provoke in your shoulders, jaw, back or belly.

It can be the movement of your vital breath that starts to move life into them.

It can be a movement of sensations and feeling that needs to finally flow there.

It can be a soft vibration of fear that transforms into excitement that needs to trickle though them.

Try to bring movement in all levels described above.

When you do so, you might move between different experiences. You might be moving a flood like sensation or a need that got stuck under that blocked net vain. So just give yourself the time; It can be a deep sadness, a need to push and move with aggression, a wave of heat or of coldness that needs to be released.

And when you follow and provoke that movement there may be memories surfacing. Ones that are part of the moment this dead bug got trapped. When you continue to concentrate on the movement, you will be able to rewrite those old choices. Shift the beliefs you have because of that bug.

When the memory arises feel how you had no choice but cut that net. Feel what obligation was part of that? What sense of fear or guilt? What dependency?

Know it is that bug, you can now literally release.

Choose to again and again feel your body in relation to the space. Choose to connect to the net around you and increase the lightness and expansion of it.

Now when you think about that relationship and the difficulty you started with, what has shifted?

What new freedom do you have?

Make sure you keep yourself connected to the lightness of that net all around you. Feel it stretching from your head, from your chest, from your belly, from your back and all around your legs. Feel the light movement and vibration on your skin and the air touching it.

Feel what will allow you to stay connected to that net in that relationship? What part of you should now have more space? What choice is the one that will allow you that connectivity?

What do you have to release in order to bring more fluidity and lightness to that net?

Throughout the coming days each time you engage with others (as well as when alone in your thoughts) pay attention to that connectivity net.

Pay attention to the possible “bugs” and remember to bring movement. Remember the intention of bringing more lightness to the sensations in your body and the experience of yourself as a whole in connection to the space around you. Find through that how you can increase the sensation of freedom to and within yourself.

Yours

Anna

Photo by Luiz Felipe Zirbes on Unsplash