Free from a generational despair -connecting to your own life-love-affair!

Every one of us may carry some deep fear or a sense of despair in a part of our lives.

It can be a sensation that haunts you and follows you like a shadow. It may be whispering it’s dark secretes through physical sensations/pains, or through beliefs and strong unpleasant emotions.

It tries to convince you that you will never be able to get what you want. That you will never be able to be free (whatever freedom means to you). It may be connected to never having the financial stability you want, the family or love life you desire, the sense of trustworthy friendships or of feeling fulfillment. It may be showing itself through unexplained panic attacks or maybe even addictions.

Do you know this shadow from your life?

This shadow may be at times smaller and sleepy and at others, it may start to stretch and darken your experience. Mostly it depends on the circumstances you are in. Often the closer we get to being freed, the stronger it may try to whisper and convince us to back off.

This shadow is one that follows us from the generations standing behind us.

It is the unresolved traumas, tares, losses and other experiences that were not healed, resolved and owned. These shadows are looking for a home. A home in which they can be experienced and resolved.

They manage to stretch beyond the graves, beyond the silent stories we did not have a chance to hear.

They gently leak into our view of life. Into the choices we make.

Their unseen embrace holds us in the place of repetition.

These shadows, those old burdens of despair, can be lifted away from your heart. They can be cleared from your mind and healed from your “guts”.

First we need to stop turning away from them.

And then we cannot use our logical judgment and search for a solution to “get rid” of them.

We need to feel their embrace around us. we need to be able to be in them without closing off or shutting down.

We need to be able to let them pass like clouds while we let their rain drops wet our skin and the winds they bring blow our hair and chill our skin.

It is from that place that we can sense who they belong to.

It is from that place where we can complete what they need and let them return to their owner.

It is from that place, when bathed in patience that we can step out into the light and vitality of our own life. Without needing to carry those unresolved experience and packages of despair, we can benefit from a resilience that our ancestors have given us.

Blaming is not the solution.

Cutting away and fighting against, is not the solution.

Trying to be better than is not the solution.

Meeting, including and putting to rest can be the way out.

Pain and sorrow may be part of the process. It may feel like burring a still-born life.

A life that was not able to breath to the fullest and live to the fullest:

If it was the experience of love and trust that was cut off…

If it was the experience of abundance that was cut off…

If it was the experience of being free and loved as one is that was cut off…

We should be the loving burring hands bring it to rest, so that we don’t have to carry that “corpse”.

I know it sounds heavy, but I promise you that being able to do that, so much lightness and vitality emerges. Quicker than you think.

And that dark shadow transform. It starts to become a one that protects you from a harsh light. It can offer you a resting place where you can regain so much inner strength. It starts to be a companion that encourages you to live more as who you truly are.

Here is what you can do:

So take a moment and remember what is that shadow of despair that follows you?

Is it some pain?

Is it a feeling or a notion that you will never be able to have what you want?

Is it a sense of rage that covers your heart?

Is it guilt that follows you around?

Take a moment and identify it.

Then let it be there. Listen to it.

Make sure that you breath and try to keep connecting to the experience in your body, instead of hardening yourself, or collapsing inside of yourself.

The challenge when you intentionally meet it, is to feel what it does but at the same time not to lose contact with the fullness of your experience, which includes your body and the way it touches the space around you.

Feel the space all around you: above you, behind you, to the left and right. As well as below you.

Then direct your attention to the people who are a part of your family. You may know them und you may never have met them. But your body, you, remember them.

Remember that what you carry belongs to them.

With this knowing and with that attention to your body and space, breath and let them tell their story.

Keep breathing and whatever emotions flood you. Let them move with in you.

Give yourself the time to have what every experience needs to be experienced. Even if it may feel "too" strong and deep.

Please try not to cut away from it.

When the moment is right, (if it feels beneficial you can hold your hands together in a prayer form as to sense your hands and heart connection),

say out loud or in your head: I am sorry you had to experience that. I am sorry you could not have…. I see it, I feel it, I am sorry for you. I know it was not easy.

Keep on breathing.

When the moment is fitting and if you need to do so, you can then say agina: this is not mine. Thanx for taking it. Thanx for freeing me from it. Thanx for freeing me for my path.

Whatever then that you wish for, feel the option of it in your life.

Make sure you are aware of your belly and your chest.

Make sure your legs are not frozen and your shoulders relaxed.

Let the different sensations cruise through your body and emanate into the space around you.

Feel where you are now in your life.

Connect to your bones and let them guide to feel your own place in the world.

When you open your eyes, try to keep that experience in your body.

Make sure you connect to it throughout the days and let the old despair take its time to find its way back.

With patience and trust let it continue to evaporate.

Yours,

Anna

Photo by Rolands Varsbergs on Unsplash