How are you listening? Recover your power of connectivity, intuition, and presence.

The mastery of listening is the key to greater personal freedom and being connected to yourself

Listening is the way we let the world around us enter, move, and touch us. It is through vibrations that we perceive with our ears.

Thus, our ears can perceive unseen layers such as atmospheres, and intentions that are unavailable for our eyes to see.

Learning to listen, is not about the meaning of the words someone uses, but all that moves those words and the intention behind them.

Even in silence when we truly listen, we can perceive more than with our eyes alone.

To listen, we need to be silent, ourselves. We need to quiet the defensive and controlling part of our minds. The part that tends to be on alert. The part that is nourished by fearfulness. It tends to interpret everything as a possible danger, oppression, or stress. It does as an attempt to keep us safe. It makes us resist, and puts us in a state of defensiveness, that does not allow us to listen to what is. We are busy pushing it all away so that “nothing bad” will happen to us… again.

The problem is, is that these interpretations that make us resist (or jump into action), are often rooted in the times in our life, where we were helpless. Times we felt unsafe and unable to deal with the intensity of the situation. Times we had to condition ourselves, suppress aspects of ourselves, and shape ourselves to deal with the world around us. A world – but, actually it was people - who rejected us, hurt us, neglected our needs, or tried to tame us. Even if they did that without any malice intention. Simply because of their trauma and difficulty, it was still the reality we needed to deal with.

We had to shape ourselves according to them, to best survive. We had to suppress our needs. Our pain, our longing. We were trapped in unresolved fear.

We conditioned our ears to detect anything that might feel and be dangerous to us. Anything that would demand a quick protective response to feel safe. To make sure we are not broken. That we are deep inside are free to be.

This old way of conditioning is what makes our minds chatter so loud. It is the noise of our unresolved fear. It is the mistrust we carry in our ability to “survive” and face the situation, and thus the way we may easily mistrust others.

When we were young and unable to defend ourselves, be in the power of what was happening to us, our ears were dangerous holes…. Holes through which oppressive judgment may have entered. Where cold silence of rejection has entered. Or maybe the sound of sweet words that warped expectations of obedience.

You can imagine what we had to do with our capacity to listen….

Today as adults, seeking inner freedom, stability, connectivity, dignity, and joy, we need to regain the magical and powerful ability of our listening.

The ability with which we connect to ourselves, our presence, our strength, and with that, to others.

Listening demands us to relax in front of the unknown.

Listening allows us to truly think in a free, and broadway.

Free of convictions, old conclusions, or interpretations.

Listening allows us to hear what is important to us, as well as to others.

Listening gives us the power of detachment from being activated and provoked.

It gives us the ability to stay open and at the same time, grounded and unwavering from ourselves.

Listening allows us at times to understand others better than they do themselves. Listening allows us to know what is asked of us, behind the words.

Listening allows us to be at ease and connected to life. It allows us then to hear the calling of our wishes, the needs around us that only we can meet and touch upon.

Listening connects us to what is beyond the mundane. It connects us to beauty.

1. Try to take the time to engage with your ability to listen.

Remember there is nothing specific you need to strive for and hear.

Listening means that you relax, breathe, and lean back.

Listening is letting what is around you first enter. To trust your ability to refuse, when the time comes.

It may demand you to relax your shoulders, neck, and jaw so that you are not holding any old, fear-based resistance within yourself. A resistance that distances you from trusting yourself.

To truly listen, you would have to connect not only to your chest and heart but to your lower belly as well. A place that holds space for your healthy power and strength.

When you spend time with people, try to listen in that way.

Choose to learn and identify when you are activated: when are you being provoked and the stress to immediately respond arises? When do you contract your body for the sake of defense? Or when do you tend to shoot a harsh response?

Some of your difficulties with listening and the automatic need to resist, will not be out on the surface. It would probably take mostly place within your own head.

Pay attention to how much you are starting to react in your mind with arguments, explanations, or judgments.

Pay attention to those moments you feel trapped in the situation.

When you do, make sure that you stop yourself.

Repeat the steps of breathing, lean back, and let go.

Pay attention to your ears and the areas around them and try to focus on letting go and opening your ears.

Pay attention to your legs and remember that no one has power over you. Listening is not an automatic agreement.

Breathe and choose to connect to your heart.

Choose to let go of any effort that seems to come up within your body as a response to the fear of what you may meet.

Choose to listen.

Before you respond, take another breath and feel your chest and belly. Then talk.

2. Apart from that, you can take some time to practice opening your ears. To set some time aside to train listening.

Below, I have written down a practical exercise for you, with which you can train your listening.

Free few moments to sit by yourself and connect to the physical experience of your ears and listening.

Find a comfortable place for you to sit in.

Take a moment to connect to your body at this moment.

Begin engaging your breath, and then circle your shoulders.

Circle your shoulders while deepening your breath.

Add some movements of waking up and letting go of the efforts held in and around your jaw and mouth.

Stretch, open, and circle.

Now, with your hands start to gently massage your ears and the areas all around them.

After a few moments of massaging and creating some heat, put each hand on one ear to gently cover them, and breathe deeply.

Listen to the sound of your breath.

After a few breaths add more vibrations and sounds by using your voice, with a gentle sound of AAAA.

Repeat this sound, while keeping your hands on your ears.

Pay attention to and try to feel the vibrations in and around your body, while still having your hands on your ears.

Now let’s begin to add another element of space. Start to move your hands away from your ears and bring them back again, while continually creating the sound of your choice.

Maintain the sound while moving the hands towards and away from your ears for a few moments. You are as if opening and closing your ears with this movement.

After a while keep your hands on your ears, closing them gently and taking the time to just sense the effect you have created and the way it affected your ears.

Make sure you are breathing and letting go of any effort you may be still noticing.

Keeping your hands on your ears, think of a person that affected the way you were listening and hearing. Someone who has hurt you or judged you. Someone that created a wound that is still “bleeding” or affects you.

What would you want that person to say if you could have orchestrated a situation that would have made it all better?

Once you have that sentence (and it may be a few sentences), say it out loud.

Say the words you have wished to hear from that person/people. It may be your parents or a teacher. Anyone that simply comes to mind. It may be someone more recent or someone from long ago. You may have wanted to hear: “I love you”. “I am sorry”. “You are the best thing that happened to me”. Everything you secretly wished for….Don’t restrict yourself.

Repeat those word couple of times. Allow whatever emotions come up to simply be there. Open some space for them. Agree to feel their intensity.

Think of it as relieving your mind from a constant struggle that it tries to maintain. These emotions will wash away all the noise in your mind.

Then let go of your hands and listen to the world around you now.

When you repeat this exercise you can skip the last part, or change the person you are bringing.

At the end of the exercise, take some time to simply rest, breathe, and listen to the world around you. Discover it through your ears. Feel the layers you are able to perceive.

Notice the relief and even the joy that will be unfolding through your ears.

I wish you wonderful and magical ears,

Anna

Photo byDominik KempfonUnsplash