Melting away the fear of being guilty or blamed

In the last post have been exploring with you the way we may tend to talk with accusation, when we try to express what we need.

This time I want to look at the other side. At the fear of us being blames and accused.

Are you also afraid of being blamed? Of have been doing something wrong?

It seems that the fear of being blamed is plaguing all of us.

It may appear as a constant background pressure to do everything right or maybe even a self-battering criticism that tries to keep us tamed.

Often times it is because we were blamed in an abusive way in the past without a way out of it. So today we are moving in our relationships led by the fear of being accused or blamed. Some of us become overly guilty and some overly aggressive and defensive.

It is as if there are these bombs waiting to explode between us and we either doing all we can to avoid them or we intentionally step on the with all our might.

Being accused and blamed as children, without the ability and capacity to prove it wrong, was devastating. We were burdened with so much that is not ours to carry, that we had to create a wall of harsh and an inner defensiveness to maintain our deepest need for connection, love and warmth.

Growing up in cultures that are so much busy with guilt and shame of who we are, just increased that fear in us.

It seems that this made us so much ashamed of who we are and of your simple and human need for warmth and connection that we look at it as weakness. As something we need to defend and something that cannot function in the world.

We become so harsh in ourselves to ourselves while at the same time overly sensitive to anything that might feel like blame or accusation.

How can we be free of that old fear of being blamed? Of that harsh experience, which felt like it could crush us and take away our connections, warmth and love?

How can we look at warmth as something that is our human basic need and one that we can cultivate as strength. One that if we stick to it can shift so much in our relationships, our social interactions and bigger structures we believed to be the only one possible till today?

It can so much free men and women from the roles they were burdened with.

Warmth is our super and what allows us to grow as capable adulty who are able to maintain their ground while being open to the experiences of others without being threatened.

So what do you do when you are afraid of being blamed? Or when you think someone will tell you, you have done something wrong? What is your tactic to avoid any kind of accusation?

How often do you feel blamed or accused? How often do you mistaken what you hear to be an accusation where you need to defend yourself?

How much does this affect the warmth you experience in your interactions?

Listen to this free training to step out from the claws of old guilt and sooth the old hurt with warmth, with which you can feel free, present and whole.

To better und undo this effort and fear in your life enjoy the free training I have created for you: Free meditation: Melting away the fear of an old guilt and blame

Yours

Anna

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash