When jealousy /envy can set you free

Jealousy/envy is usually a feeling we are trying to avoid and repress. Sometimes we may get stupidly entangled in it.

When we fight or get trapped in its sharp claws, we may lose ourselves in diminishing comparisons out of which we barely come out, let alone keep our sense of dignity or self-worth.

Jealousy/envy is like those fish and vegetables one needs to know how to cut and cook to enjoy rather than be poisoned. It is a tricky thing. We need to master it, as it offers itself to us through discomforts, pain, and shame.

Let’s remember that jealousy is a natural feeling. At its core, it lets us perceive that there can be more for us and of us.

Jealousy/envy may painfully remind us of what we may have been losing or not tending to. It may be needs, wishes, and parts of who we are, we do not dare to express. It touches that which was covered under old fear and hurts.

Jealousy/envy is supposed to enter deep into our hearts and gut. It is supposed to wake us up to embrace what we were ignoring and suppressing within us; The parts of ourselves we are ashamed of and keep trapped in self-doubt/hate/ loathing.

Jealousy is that ragged bitter hag that listens to their (our repressed parts) cry for freedom. Jealousy wants to serve their longings to be loved, felt and expressed.

With her unapologetic smile, she exposes the lie we were telling ourselves. She lets us taste some bitterness and asks us to finally tend to those covered needs and wounds so that we will taste the sweetness of freedom we can enjoy in this lifetime.

There is a delicate balance that jealousy /envy asks us to maintain. When we internally hold a power dynamic, no matter on which end we are, jealousy/envy becomes destructive.

But when we experience ourselves outside of those dynamics, jealousy/envy becomes the truth we need to embrace and the courage that allows us to spread our wings.

If you want to travel your path in life, dare to expand and express who you are, and are willing to move through all of the humane and complex experiences that await you, try not to startle or fight that jealousy/envy hag, when she crosses your path.

She is probably there to ensure you do not neglect what you are supposed to birth and create. All the freedom that you can gain as well as enable around you.

When taken in, jealousy/envy allows you to see others in their beauty and power, without seeing it as taking something away from you. It frees you from resentment and enriches you with an appreciation for all that others are. You can see how they expand (y)our world, and how you can do the same.

What makes you jealous?

Think of a person you felt jealous of lately.

What does this person do (have, is) that awakes that jealousy in you?

When you describe what makes you jealous, take your time to breathe into your chest and your belly, giving one space to that feeling and experience.

Be patient in feeling it.

With your breathing, you open yourself to the old pain of repressing.

It is a pain that you need to be attentive to. A pain that brings with it the memory and the old fear-based need to suffocate something within yourself. Suffocate parts of you that you were afraid to show, express and expose.

Maybe it was dangerous, too painful, or risky.

Take the time to breathe deeply, making sure you sense your body, for those old trapped fears and hurts, will get the chance to be recognized, healed, and released. Breathe and make sure you are not trying to make that go away. Pay attention to any effort you are making to try and overcome those feelings. When you recognize those responses in your body, try to melt them away and be ready to feel all the “ugliness”.

Stay focused on what you sense within you, and let go of that person that touched that jealousy /envy. Make sure you are moving away from any comparison, blame, or complaint.

Just keep that which you are jealous of, and let that be the magic wand that will reveal to you the deeper longing you kept secret behind that superficial jealousy.

It may be very uncomfortable, but remember that once you invite that bitter ugly hag called jealousy/envy and open your heart and gut, it will transform into the beauty you carry within you, which you were afraid to touch.

It is in your hands to stay and be with that discomfort.

It is in your hands not to enter into any power dynamics that you may be accustomed to hiding behind in order not to feel the pain and take those vulnerable steps toward your freedom.

Jealousy/envy gives you the freedom to be powerful in your choices. It gives you the independence to embrace all of yourself. It frees you then from compromise and comparison. It connects you to that knowledge of who you are and what you are. It gives you that courage to walk into your path, without any grand gestures or needing to prove yourself.

Pay attention to why you needed to be jealous/envious.

What aspects of yourself needed you to start with jealousy/envy, so that you can reconnect to it?

What old fear and hurt, needed to be acknowledged, so that what you used to cut off, can flourish again?

How do you now see that person, that has triggered your jealousy?

Can you see their journey better?

Can you now step out into the freedom of being more of who you are, and away from any comparison or inner compromise?

Within yourself, say to that jealousy: “Thank you for reminding me what I have almost lost. Thank you for bringing that part of me back into my life.”

And then say to the person, who has woken up your jealousy:” I wish you well and appreciate the doors you and I open”.

Keep breathing, expanding, and opening your chest and belly. Make sure you are not resisting any hurt you may still feel.

Make sure your throat and jaw are not clenching and that you are willing to stay with that discomfort until it resides.

Feel the warmth and depth within you, and how that compassion is now what can free you to be, and let you see others with more depth and ease as well. Knowing we are in it together.

We are all in it to be free. We are all in it to heal.

Your

Anna

Foto von Deleece Cook auf Unsplash