Your undeniable place with a motherly embrace

Today I want to offer you a moment of courage. One where you will be challenged to embrace (within your experience and if you so wish in real life) your mother, no matter your relationship with her was/is.

I don’t want you to ignore any hurt or disappointment you might have been experiencing with her.

Nor do I ask you to explain in your mind why it was OK /not OK.

I would like to enable you to maybe move beyond that analytic view and limited view of your relationship through your embrace. To dare to meet a part of your mother, and your connection that may bring you inner love, and a sense of being held in life.

An embrace that can forever connect you to the feeling of being held, bathed in satisfaction and beauty.

Mothers have such a sacred role in holding us when we are getting settled and rooted in life. They are the ones holding us in the most delicate of times; when we just enter into this life, when we are shaping ourselves as who we are and when we become these fierce but vulnerable humans.

They are the first home we have.

The home they offer affects our further experiences of “being at home with in ourselves” and of knowing we have a place in this world.

Feeling at home and held in and by life, is what has to flow in our veins when we are rooted deeply in life.

It is what needs to pulsate throughout our bodies to find the fire of our existence.

It should be the current that takes us to wherever we want while being accompanied by the permanent promise of us being OK no matter what.

When women are freed to be who they truly are, when they live without a suffocating ideal image they should fulfill and are invited to be as deep and as strong as they are, their capacity to offer a stable, warm and protective home, is naturally there. That is what they bring to the human table.

But sadly, women have been dominated and wrung out of their wild strength, their way of perceiving and relating to life for generations.

Thus as mothers they have been unable to offer that complete, unwavering and stable holding to their children.

When women were needing to suffocate parts of themselves and live in fear, life to them became more complicated. They have been often seen as complicated.

As a result many of us have experienced mothers, who were unable to be fulfilled as women. Mothers that were unable to reach their natural capacity to embrace with warmth nor stand for themselves and for their children (and all who surrounded them) with an unwavering strength. Their natural ability to hold was compromised by society and traditions.

This compromise throughout the last generations, is not only about the experience of a motherly- love and embrace in our lives. It is also have compromised, diminished and ridiculed the feminine aspect of our beings no matter what our gender is.

It reduced the feminine energy through which we are able to receive nourishment on all levels of our exitance. The energy with which we create, perceive and appreciate beauty and are in a receptive state that is giving us the sense of being enough as who we are.

So as our mothers as well their mothers (and many generations before) were compromised, today our personal sense of having a place in the world, a meaning to our lives and the feeling of being held no matter what, was compromised for all of us as well.

I know that many have an entangled and somewhat complex relationship with their mothers. Maybe you yourself suffer from such a relationship.

When we move towards adulthood we have to start and see our mothers as the women they are not anymore through the lenses of our childish eyes and needs. Some of those moments are painful when we break the glorifying illusion we kept in our minds. Some may be moving us through the process of healing deep hurts and disappointments or lacks that may bring us a more compassionate view of those women.

Think of your mother as on ring being part of a large chain of support and love that flows through all of us and holds all of us vibrantly alive. If one piece or ring of this chain was/is broken, all the rest falls apart, unable to connect.

There is a mending of an embrace we are all called to take part in.

We are all called to find that embrace so that we can bring those mothers back into life.

Mending that embrace inside of us and outsaid of us.

A mending that will heal in us the deepest sense of being, of being loved, of being nourished by life. Of being held.

It is now our turn to mend that chain of motherhood by embracing.

This is a courageous embrace. One that may bring with it many tears or even waves of anger that should be finally freed.

I am not offering you a “rosy” nor “fluffy” moment. It is more like crossing a fire, walking on hot coals knowing that you will not be burnt but rather gain an immense trust in yourself and the world.

So if you are willing to mend, to embrace and find your place in the world I invite you to do the following:

Sit comfortably and place your hands on your belly.

Take few deep breaths, including your lungs and your belly.

If you can, try to let go of your belly as much as possible.

You can even use your hands as support, holding your belly instead of your muscular effort.

Now take a moment and remember your mother.

Keep on breathing into your belly, holding it with your hands and just pay attention to the experience and reactions this memory brings in you.

Give yourself time to breathe through and move with whatever rises may it be difficult or pleasant emotions, or resistance and need to protect.

Continue breathing and create circular movement on your belly.

And now say:

Mother, as your child I thank you for bringing me into my life.

Thank you for holding me as much as you could (even though it was at times lacking, manipulating, hurting…..).

It is a shame it was not always easy for you.

I am sorry for your lack /pain/difficulty…..And I see it.

Mother, as your child, I thank you for choosing to have me (even if you blamed me, at times did not want me…).

You can let go. And I am ready to let go.

Life holds me now. Your work is done.

Take a deep breath. Keep holding belly and breathing into it.

Keep on breathing and letting these words vibrate with in you and around you.

And now say:

Mother, I offer you my embrace. (here you can open your arms as offering her to enter into your embrace)

I need nothing of you anymore.

I am taken care of. I am well.

Your role is complete.

My role in this life has just begun.

I was yours, but now I belong to life.

And now breathe.

You can repeat the hole section again or just parts until you feel that there is no burden held in you anymore. Until you feel rooted in warmth and love.

If you want and are able you can embrace your mother the next time you see here, with this intention in your mind and body.

I hope this can bring a deep sense of connectivity to your being and the ability to be loved with more ease and courage.

Yours,

Anna

Photo byLiv BruceonUnsplash